someone threw a dead crab at me
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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