My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
