We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
