marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
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It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
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I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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