I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i think my cat just said my name.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
