The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
