dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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