batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
