and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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