I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
