69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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