Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
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The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
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Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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