Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
