dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
