i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
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Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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