Define "chronic" masturbator.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize