Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
