one two three fourrrrnication!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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