so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Oh god it's open bar.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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