i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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