dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
