Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
