You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i dont even know how to be here
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
