no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Can I color on your dick again?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
