Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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