I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
