I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It's Friday. Sex?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
