My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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