Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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