ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Who died my cat blue again?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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