Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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