New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize