He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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