my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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