Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
