but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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