I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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