ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
