You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
