Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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