And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
