Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
it's like iHOP with fire
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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