The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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