I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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