I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
