This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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