it wasn't lemon gatorade
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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