im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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