and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
