u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
