But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
