the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
