Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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