So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
two words...techno handjob
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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