The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
