I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Never underestimate the power of titties
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