sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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