I'm fucking your sister right now.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.