I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.