Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.