Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.