I'm sorry my penis didn't work
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?