question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
