I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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