Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
