Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
