I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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