well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
