I'm gonna have a badass scar
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
