ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
and you said cock pushups were impossible
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
