The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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